"A spit-take is a comedic technique in which someone spits a beverage out of his or her mouth when he or she reacts to a statement during a take. In a spit-take, the reaction is usually one of surprise. Danny Thomas is sometimes credited with popularizing its use in comedy." (Source: Wikipedia, the lazy man's reference material.)

We thought it would be considerate to give you guys the ever-so-brief history of the knee-jerk reaction you're likely about to experience, depending on your level of self-investment in the overseas gaming electronics market, and whether or not you're currently drinking a nice, refreshing beverage. Amidst substantial drops in weekly sales totals for all its competitors, the rarely triumphant Xbox 360 pulled off a spectacular ascent with an increase of over 15,000 units. It performed this feat by riding upon the comfortable, pillowy back of Star Ocean: The Last Hope, a 360 exclusive that sold over 162,000 copies in its release week.

Then again, perhaps news that a Square Enix title featuring vaguely effeminate dudes pushed Japanese sales of its designated system doesn't surprise you to the point of expectoration. Your unflappable, steely nerves keep you from being startled by sales figures, let alone the GIANT SPIDER THAT'S ON YOUR SHOULDER. (Yeah, that probably did the trick.)

- DSi: 41,839 11,644 (21.77%)
- PSP: 29,552 4,704 (13.73%)
- Xbox 360: 25,334 15,501 (157.64%)
- Wii: 16,973 4,043 (19.24%)
- PS3: 16,149 2,507 (13.44%)
- DS Lite: 9,975 4,835 (32.65%)
- PS2: 5,029 303 (5.68%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The expectorating archives

Jenova Chen, creative director for thatgamecompany and champion for the recently released arboreal PSN title Flower, recently opened up during an interview with GamesIndustry to an extent we rarely see outside of Dr. Phil reruns. During the interview, he reveals that he's interested in making games that elicit emotional responses more effectively than the traditional industry blockbuster, in an attempt to "recapture" the emotions that games used to inspire within him during his formative years.

According to him, this is an area that modern video games (which he admittedly rarely plays) don't really excel at, saying most major releases "fail to educate you on an intellectual level, and the emotions they evoke are relatively primal." To this effect, the self-proclaimed goal of his burgeoning development company is to "push the boundary of what games can communicate." We're not sure what thatgamecompany's next aesthetically pleasing project will be, but one thing's for certain -- it probably won't incorporate any firearms with chainsaws attached to them.

In Raven Software's latest FPS, Singularity, you play as a salesperson for Cingular Wireless, now AT&T Wireless. No, that's not right. Oh yes. You play as a character who, unlike a Cingular salesperson, can manipulate time -- travel through it, use it to make folks age to death ... y'know, the usual.

Anyway, the game's publisher, Activision, has released the first trailer for it and a couple dozen screenshots. The game looks mighty good, but we won't be totally convinced until we confirm players can use time to grow beards quickly. That and play it at E3. The trailer's hanging out just after the break or skip the lame Flash-vid and download it in glorious HD from Big Download.

A triumphant Sony press release which heralded next week's arrival of Killzone 2 and, effectively, the kick-off for its 2009 line-up, contained a tentative list of the games that will likely cause PS3 owners to foam at the mouth with anticipation over the coming months. The list contained two mammoths in particular -- according to Sony, both God of War III and Zipper Interactive's MAG: Massive Action Game will be among the "blockbuster exclusives" which will land on the console "throughout the year."

The imminent launch window for the two titles (which were mentioned alongside inFamous, Heavy Rain, MLB 09: The Show and Uncharted 2: Among Thieves) is just a bit surprising -- though we suppose Sony's selective wording ("throughout the year") could mean that the listed titles will be dropping by this time in 2010. Still, barring any delays, 2009's shaping up to be a heck of a year for the enthusiastic supporters of Sony's monolithic home console.

Your guess is as good as ours as to how today's major PSN release, Noby Noby Boy plays. Heck, even it's creator -- Katamari Damacy's Keita Takahashi -- doesn't know why he made it. But, given its pedigree and $4.99 pricetag, we're going for it. Will you join us? (The more the merrier, as new stages are unlocked via cumulative global play -- crazy!).

Today's update also brings PopCap's Zuma to PS3 (it's no Peggle, but what is ... except, well, Peggle), along with the much-anticipated Burnout Paradise Legendary Cars Collection, WipEout trimmings (plus costumes) for LittleBigPlanet and a playable demo of Loco Roco 2 for PSP, among various other offerings.

We've told you about it -- now see the new downloadable chapter of Prince of Persia, "Epilogue." As its title suggests, this new challenge is set after the game's controversial ending. It also sees the Prince gaining a new Sprint ability and his girlfriend, uh, "companion," Elika, given the power to (temporarily) restore patches of the level to their uncorrupted state.

Hitting XBLM and PSN on February 26, this adventure through the Underground Palace -- and confrontation with a new boss, the Shapeshifter -- promises to be more challenging than anything pre-Epilogue. Just watch and you'll see what we mean.

The latest edition of the Bionic Commando podcast includes a Q&A session with Dead Rising creator Keiji Inafune. Strangely, he seems unwilling to divulge many new details about Dead Rising 2, but talks in length about collaborating with a Western developer. The sequel has been farmed out to Canadian-based Blue Castle Games, but Inafune is eager to state that developers from the original game are working very closely with the DR2 team, with conference calls occurring every week.

"[Blue Castle Games] really understood the Japanese flavor that made Dead Rising so unique," says Inafune. "They showed me that they are serious about making a game that keeps that Capcom 'spice' intact, and so far it's going very well." He hopes to make Dead Rising 2 an improvement over the original, as the game will be developed from a global perspective. This level of collaboration between East and West, he says, is unprecedented for Capcom. Perhaps the Resident Evil team should look into trying something similar for its next title?

In terms of actual gameplay details, there's little to glean from the podcast. Inafune does mention that the new character will be much more interesting than Frank West, but doesn't want to give away too much right now. Blue Castle feels that keeping the time management aspect of the original game in the sequel is important, but is planning a much larger variety of mission objectives. Have a listen yourself for more Dead Rising 2 tidbits.

Blackrock Studio, which came out of nowhere to deliver last year's knockout off-road racer, Pure, has officially released the teaser trailer for its next project. (Someone had leaked it onto YouTube last week.) Good news: It's another racing game. But it's not Pure 2. Not by a mile.

The purposefully obscured footage provides a glimpse at what looks to be an action-filled arcade racer, one that's part Ridge Racer, part GRID and part Midnight Club. We get some very stylized cars, a huge crash and ... an exploding gas station. More on the game is promised for March 11. Consider us thoroughly teased. Hop on over to Big Download for a high-def-ier version of the video ... and tell 'em the 'Stiq sent you.

By now you're probably tired of reading about slick Hollywood-based video game launch parties attended by C-list celebrities and wannabes who probably game about as much as your grandma. Capcom finally got it right by opening up the Street Fighter IV party to the public. The only problem was that so many people showed up for the event that the fire marshal ended up restricting access, and a lot of people went home without getting their game on.

For those of you who didn't make it to the Geffen Museum Street Fighter Takeover in downtown Los Angeles, we offer up the gallery below from the event. There were tons of console stations where you could play the game, imported versions of the SFIV Japanese arcade game, a Street Fighter Club rumble pit, a "museum" full of Street Fighter products from over the years, Street Fighter arcade cabinets painted by different artists, plenty of people in costumes, and of course, game producer Ono-san.

Here's an interesting fact: In order to earn money through product placements, you actually have to have a pre-arranged deal with the advertised company. You can't just start interjecting their brand name into conversations and wait for them to send you a check. Alas, our meticulous plan for bringing some much-needed economic growth to the Japanese Hardware Sales Institute has collapsed under the weight of its own immeasurable incompetence. We've been forced to take the last measure available to us in order to continue providing this valuable service: Workforce optimization.

We've elected to simplify a startling number of positions here at the Institute, including Stat Trackers, Adders, Subtractors, Analyzers, Percentage Calculators, Red and Green Arrow Breeders, Pun Writers, Pun Editors, and our LOLcat Locator. We even restructured the guy who was in charge of the optimization procedures. We'd like to call this irony, but we can't be sure. We smartsized our Literary Device Examiner.

We also unhired our Witty Remark That Actually Pertains to The Current Week's Sales Figures Guy -- luckily, his services won't be needed, as this week's chart looks alarmingly similar to the last fifty. Just hop into our archives, and choose your favorite wisecrack. Take our word for it -- it'll still be relevant.

- DSi: 49,529 6,084 (10.94%)
- PSP: 34,969 9,166 (20.77%)
- Wii: 20,412 2,866 (12.31%)
- PS3: 16,082 1,323 (7.60%)
- DS Lite: 12,484 2,663 (17.58%)
- Xbox 360: 8,311 204 (2.52%)
- PS2: 5,089 245 (4.59%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The smartsized archives